My best friend friend from New Jersey came to visit last week with her husband and kids, and on Saturday morning she and I went out to grab some bagels for everyone. (Cawffee too!) All of a sudden, my friend let out a shriek and an "OH MY GOD!" I had only ever heard her scream that loud once before. It was New Year's Eve, 1989 at a Bon Jovi concert at Giants Stadium.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
But this time, there was terror in her voice. "Look over there! Do you see it? OH...NO WAY!"
"What?" I asked. She was pointing in the direction of a strip mall, but I didn't see anything noteworthy.
"Right....there! Look! I just can't even believe it! It's incredible! I mean, never in all my life have I seen something so...well...it's..."
"Oh," I said, looking into the parking lot. Yawn.
"So," I asked her. "Who do you think will get booted from Dancing with the Stars tonight? It's gotta be Marie Osmond, right?"
"Are you kidding me?! How could you ask me that, when right next to you is that ENORMOUS, TACKY, CRUSTACEAN-LOOKING THING ON TOP OF THAT CAR..."
Listen up, people. Living in Orlando means it's going to take a lot more to shock me than a gigantic lobster overtaking a Volkswagen bug. That Boston Lobster Feast thing is on every billboard, in every newspaper circular, and I think it even graced the cover of my last phone book alongside an ad for an attorney who's willing to fight tooth and nail on your behalf if you've had a bee sting that wasn't your fault.