Sunday, December 9, 2007

I hate to be the one to break it to you Apopka, but your alligators have little weenies.

There are some pretty strange career paths in Orlando, like the guy who cleans up after the horses in the Disney parade and the dude who trains the ducks to march at the Peabody. But how about the guy who is measuring gator penises in Lake Apopka? I should start out by saying that I'm not sure if he is obligated to do it, based on his job description, or if it's just a passion of his. Either way, the whole thing is reminiscent of that old joke about mothballs - "how'd you get their legs spread?"

I stumbled upon this study the other day when I was writing about Gatorland and I thought about keeping the information to myself, but really, you have a right to know. Plus, I wonder why nobody has ever talked about it before? Just another tidbit from the dark side of Orlando. I suspect Disney was able to cover this up. A zoologist from the University of Florida decided to measure alligator penises in Lake Apopka, and as it turns out, their wee-wees are 25% smaller than the alligators in Lake Woodruff on the St. John's River in Volusia County.

Of course, this raises a whole host of questions: How and why did this happen to the gators? How does one get the idea of studying gator genitalia? Can the female gators in Lake Apopka muster up the energy to crawl north to Lake Woodruff? And most importantly, does this translate to the human population, as well? Not that I'm necessarily buying into it, but I will be partying more on the east side of town, if ya know what I mean. 25% is significant!

One particular alligator was able to locate the scientist who conducted the study - the gator disputes the findings and is hoping to be re-measured.

Photo courtesy of the Island Trader

1 comment:

johnnypeepers said...

I don't buy it. What were the statistical and quality-control safeguards in place in this study? Maybe the water was colder in Apopka when they measured his gator-package. Remember what happened to Constanza when he got shriveled? Maybe the Apopka gator has just rolled out of the pond.

Don't believe the hype!

johnnypeepers - Orlando