That is an actual "ripped from the headlines" quote from today's Orlando Sentinel. Two guys got into a fight...one drove over the other's Christmas decorations, and of course once that happens, you can rest assured shots will be fired.
The story starts by saying a guy in Winter Haven was "parking his truck in his yard." Did they mean to say "parking in his driveway" or "parking in his garage" or even "parking under his carport?" Let's hope that's a typo.
Then there is the issue of the "rumored" decapitated snowman. Wouldn't it be scary for all Orlando-area residents if it turns out the whole thing wasn't "a rumor?" I, for one, will lock my doors tonight.
As a public service, here is the alleged snowman decapitator: