As the temperature drops in Orlando, the energy level rises as we gear up for fake snow made from Dawn dishwashing detergent, Orange County Sheriffs dressed as elves, miles of extension cords at Disney, and the much beloved parade of produce.
It's truly a proud time for all Central Floridians, and there's only one way to dress for it - in a tacky fabulous holiday sweater.
Thanks to the Orlando Sentinel for its beautiful display of some of the best in town.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
You might think a trip to Disney is all about rides and characters.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
There is nothing more tacky fabulous than a celebrity impersonator, and we have the MACK DADDY of all look-alike events going on right now in Orlando.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I think you can tell a lot about a person by their writing (or painting, in this case). My friends will tell you I'm not the best judge of character, but I really get a good feeling about this babysitter. She (or HE!) loves children AND animals AND produce (so healthy)! It really is the ideal situation for working moms in the Lake Mary area.
thanks to Mary for the photo
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
It's frustrating being me. I was born with a gene that makes me ponder thoughts nobody else cares about. Trust me, it's led to a lifetime of comments like, "Don't you have more important things to think about?" or "WOW! Somebody's got a lot of free time."
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Mandatory requirements for any Florida hurricane-related story:
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Disney character photos: Carlos Delgado/AP
The Pokemon Trading Card World Championships are finally here. Thank God, because I've been waiting all year. Trust me, this event is synonymous with hedonism. Expect a huge, unruly crowd do descend on Orlando. Their tailgating parties are legendary. "The best Pokemon Trainers from the US and Japan" are set to compete. What do you mean, "How do you train a trading card?" If you have to ask, you just don't get it...amateurs.
Friday, August 15, 2008
True - I've been sucked into Michael Phelps-mania. It's a little confusing to keep track of what each of his medals means in terms of getting to some greater record, so I've chosen, instead, to focus on things like his wing span, bathing suit, and iPod.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A few months ago I received an invite to a party, with the dress code listed as "Hollywood Hip".
The party was in Apopka.
At any rate, time share mogul David Siegel and his wife Jacqueline had a party last night at their Isleworth home. The closest I've ever been to their Isleworth home is via my friend who was a bartender at one of their bashes.
The event was billed a "mix and mingle". Miss America was there, along with 300 other people, dressed in "Florida chic attire". David's wife Jacqueline wore a black stretch lace outfit with turquoise crystals. Ta Dah - my kind of girl. You can never be too sparkly, and I would certainly NEVER be outsparkled in my own home, if I had the money to pull it off.
Jacqueline is also doing the pose my friends and I call "The Proly". My neighbor Janet uses that bent leg stance for every picture. If you walk through her house you'll see a picture of her standing like that in a bathing suit in the Bahamas...then one of her dudded up in ski bunny gear on the slopes of Breckenridge...standing backstage at a Poison concert...meeting the Pope... all the same. It's an awesome optical illusion that elongates the legs. It's been mentioned in Cosmo as being in the same family as "always be the person in the back, leaning forward" for a picture, so you aren't the one with a double chin.
Back to my point about Central Florida fashion: It's important to recognize that Florida chic is Miami-inspired, and should never be confused with Orlando chic, which is slightly more "dressed down".
photo courtesy of Stephen Dowell/Orlando Sentinel
Friday, August 8, 2008
My Dad told me about this drinking game all the groovy people used to play "back in the day". It had something to do with watching the Newhart show and then drinking a beer each time someone said "Hi, Bob". He thought it was pretty funny. Ah, the good old days.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
...If you are at Orlando International Airport, the answer is dead rats.
According to a story in today's Orlando Sentinel, we just can't shake that pesky aroma of "deceased pests".
Officially, Customs is calling it a "rodent issue".
There are some bright spots to this story, and if I was the PR person for OIA, I would point out:
1. Deceased pests are better than deceased pets.
2. The money allocated toward rat poison was money well-spent.
3. Customs officials and TSA workers get to go home early - Woo Hoo!
4. Bill Kern, a University of Florida entomology professor and urban pest-management specialist, says "odors from dead rats are not a health threat." Never mind that part about the "flies feeding off the carcasses," along with "parasitic mites, and rat urine/feces leading to problems ranging from chigger bites to the spreading of the salmonella bacteria."
5. Some guy named Zachary Mann, spokesperson for Customs and Border Patrol, got to make a funny haha line about "not making a big stink over it."
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The problem is two-fold.
First of all, sleezy red heels are known to trip wearers - and city officials want to spare you the embarrassment.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
I believe I'm the only person who takes issue with Orlando public restrooms because I'm the only one who uses them (horny local politicians notwithstanding).
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Theme parks are so last year. Dinner theaters are OUT!
Monday, July 21, 2008
I realize I run the risk of sounding totally ungrateful for the award just bestowed upon me by the Orlando Weekly for "Best Lifestyle Blog," but today is the day I take them down.
There was also an award given for "Best Mustache." Important - I'll agree - but I was a little surprised to see Tony Ortiz receive top honors. He's the Commissioner of Orlando District 2.
Not only was AMI not involved, but they don't even support the Orlando Weekly's choice! Here's what they had to say:
In examining Mr. Ortiz's mustache, it is clear that this vote was not about his luxurious labia sebucula (Latin for "lip sweater"), but about his presence, strong bones, well defined jaw line, and unquestioned good looks. In short - they voted for the man, not the mustache."
It was just as I had suspected - something was up. But that's when things took a weird turn. The AMI actually went so far as to throw their support behind Mike Thomas of the Orlando Sentinel - who doesn't even have a mustache anymore! Read on...
Sunday, July 20, 2008
It's not that I don't appreciate my friends, it's just that once again, we spent last night sitting in folding chairs in the driveway of my neighbor's house listening to Kenny Chesney and Nickelback. It probably wouldn't surprise you to know there were children playing in the back of a pickup truck. On the menu? Cool ranch Doritos, barbecued Lay's potato chips, limoncello and Michelob Ultra. Fireworks and other homemade explosives were involved, and we are now 16 days past the 4th of July. The Speed Channel was on in the garage. What's nice is that you are free to watch it from either the elliptical machine or the stationary bike. Did I mention we did the same thing Friday night? Oh wait, I think we ordered pizza for that one.