Thursday, January 3, 2008

Why not spend your vacation running naked on a treadmill?

There are very few things I'd like less than paddling around naked with my parents in a canoe. Not only is it NOT my idea of a vacation, it is the stuff nightmares are made of.

But I might be alone in that sentiment because there are plenty of families making the trek to Cypress Cove Nudist Resort for sun, fun and bare buns.

If you agree that "Clothing can lock us into expected roles and behaviors, contributing to the tensions of daily life," this just might be the place for you. But before you pack-up the...well, I guess you wouldn't have to pack-up anything...But, for those of you who are thinking of visiting, please be familiar with the rules:

For starters, polite nudists always carry towels for sitting on. In other words, it's rude to bare ass everywhere you go. That would include dining at the clothing-free restaurant, "Cheeks". Doesn't it look so romantique in a 70's porn kind of way?

Secondly, according to the FAQ section of the website, single males must have "a formal nudist background." Translation: horny dudes can't just show up at the door, park ass on a lounge chair and start ogling. You need proof of experience in the field of public nudity, which could include a nudie membership card or receipts from other nudist clubs. (I swear!) I'm sure if you've had any sort of specialized training, college coursework or professional development classes in nakedness, that would count too.

Also, you have to be buck ass naked at the pool and the gym. No exceptions!

The gift shop is called the Fig Leaf Boutique. They have great hats.

The Spa is called Nature Hair. 15% off pubic services on Wacky Wednesday. (OK, I'm lying about the specials)

Cypress Cove is affiliated with a group called "Bare Buns Bikers." Wanna see a bare buns biker? You know you do! (Hey buddy, where is your towel?!)

All photos courtesy of Cypress Cove

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