Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Don't You Dare Call Her a Flashionista: Liz Book Interview (Part 2)

Before Elliott Spitzer's favorite call girl Ashley Dupre was baring her underage breasts for Girls Gone Wild in Florida (and at a party in Orlando) ...and before Congressman Tom Feeney started his annual "beach walks" to peruse the coastline (yeah, right), there was Liz Book. When we left off with Liz yesterday, we had found out she doesn’t do a whole lot of breast prep before protests, she would consider implants, but she wouldn’t go top-free in front of a busload of kids bound for Bible school.  Here's more...

TackyFab:So Liz, I have to ask because I’m a celebrity news junkie - which celebrity you would most like to see as a champion for the top-free cause?

Liz: Janet Jackson, Drew Barrymore, or Britney Spears.

TackyFab:  OK, I get it...I remember Janet did the cover of Rolling Stone topless and Drew flashed Letterman.  Oops, sorry, I said "flashed" again and you hate that...I meant to say she accidentally lifted her shirt on top of Letterman's desk.  So, the Janet and Drew connections make sense, but you know, Liz, Britney is really more of an activist for a "undies-free" cause, and that raises the question: if you were able to achieve your goal of a "Top-Free America", would you move on to the platform of a "Bottom-Free America" and we’d see you chucking moons around town?

Liz: God, no! Could you imagine some hairy-assed fat guy walking around town with toilet tissue stuck to his butt? No, I am solely focused on freeing women's breasts. They are not sexual organs. I know this because I would have never allowed my children, short of the birth canal, anywhere near my sexual organs.

TackyFab:  "Sexual organs" is just such a gross phrase to me.  It sounds so clinical.  I'm sure you're attorney already looked it up, but are breasts really "organs"?  I always think of organs as being like a lung or a spleen.  But, anyway, let's just sum it up as "Boobs, not Butts" for you.

Liz:  I fight for top-freedom, not full nudity. As many times as I would have liked to moon Daytona and its officials, I have refrained because that is not the issue I care to address with them in the courts.

TackyFab: You say on your blog that you missed out on your dream job because of an arrest for “Exposure of Sexual Organs” (EWWW - I said it again). Any regrets?

Liz:  I regret that I was so upset by the arrest itself that I did not look at the paperwork they had me sign when they released me from jail. I would have fought that one in court!

TackyFab: Speaking of court, do you find attorney John Morgan’s TV ads mesmerizing or annoying? My unofficial research shows that most Central Floridians would rather stick pins in their eyes than sit through an entire commercial. 

Liz: You mean the guy who talks about being for the people? I can't really say because during commercials I usually get up to go to the kitchen or to the bathroom. When I was married, my husband would often look over at me smiling and ask, "Do you feel like a little commercial sex tonight, honey?" You'd be amazed at how much you can get done with three 60-second commercials!

TackyFab:  So, you got it on to John Morgan’s TV ads?  I'm sure that visual will come to mind now anytime I see him. Quickly, next question.  If Oprah gave you a million dollars but you had to donate it to either the Daytona Beach Police Department Christmas Party Fund or the Christian Coalition, who would you pick?

Liz:  I'd put it toward my own children's charity that I hope to launch this year. Oprah can't give me a million bucks and then think she's going to tell me how to spend it.

TackyFab: Oprah can do whatever she wants, Liz! Moving on though, have you ever been to Cypress Cove, the nudist resort in Kissimmee?  They have a restaurant called "Cheeks" and you're welcome to dine there top-free anytime you'd like!  The only rule is that you have to sit on a towel.  

Liz:  No, I've never been there, but I have been to one down south. It was most interesting. I wrote a story on my blog about that, too. I didn't know what the rules of those places were so I just winged it until someone told me what I shouldn't do: "Never look down when someone is talking to you." I found that out five hours after I'd been walking around looking down and going, "Damn!" But, hey, I didn't know better until they told me.  To answer your question, I'm not a nudist or a naturist. I have many friends who are, though.

TackyFab:That sounds like a cop-out…like the old line "I have gay friends”.  Anyway, you’re a single gal – where’s the best place to meet guys in Central Florida?

Liz:  I recently joined a group called "Patriot Riders". They're the people who protect the funerals and grave sites of soldiers from a group that calls itself "God Hates America". The Patriot Riders do lots of wonderful things for our soldiers. A woman certainly couldn't go wrong getting to know them.

TackyFab: God hates America?  I doubt it.  What's to hate? We've got Disney AND Graceland. Maybe He's been mad at us, like Alec Baldwin was after the 2000 election - but even Alec never moved to France.   Alright, enough of that crazy talk.  What do you think is the most tacky fabulous place in Volusia County?

Liz: Daytona Beach City Hall, maybe? No, I think our public bath houses have really gone downhill lately. Not even politicians will use them anymore.

More tomorrow....

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