Thursday, March 20, 2008

Top-Free Trilogy: The Final Liz Book Interview

The last installment in our "Liz Book, Topless Protestor" Series...

TackyFab: This is it - our final round of questions - so I'll narrow it down to just the really important stuff. Who do you think would win in a fight: Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood or Orange County Sheriff Kevin Beary?

Liz: Sheriff Beary came over to talk to us a few weeks ago when the Patriot Guard was present for a funeral of one of our fallen soldiers. I admired the Sheriff for being there and for bringing his troops in to protect the family. My admiration for Sheriff Beary would, of course, bias me on that answer. I adore him.

TackyFab:You're gushing, girl, collect yourself! Let me ask you now, how’s the top-free industry these days as a career choice? Any advice for recent graduates or up-and-comers in the field?

Liz: It is a wonderful freedom that I have fought long, hard, and legally for. If they've got the courage and conviction to do it, I would love to have more women join me for future protests. There is no pay for it, by the way. This is a poltiical movement. Freedom of speech is far from free in the United States. Thank goodness my attorney Lawrence Walters and his firm believe in what I am fighting for. They have been my champions throughout this whole battle with Daytona Beach. They have never charged me a dime.

TackyFab: Oh, that's right. You mention on your myspace site how hot Larry the Lawyer is, so let me post a pic of the two of you from your O'Reilly appearance.The publicist in me says you really should be sponsored. You need to get Larry on that quickly. Something along the lines of: ”Hi, I’m Liz Book and I rarely wear a bra, but when I do, it’s the Playtex 12-hour variety”. Moving on, though, I was reading somewhere that you hate strip clubs. What’s the deal with that?

Liz: I believe it was the advent of strip clubs that lead to the criminalization and the sexual stigmas that have been put upon our breasts over the past forty years.

TackyFab: Eesh...That’s kind of deep, so let’s go to a different subject. Who do you think is more famous, you or Sam from Appliance Direct?

Liz: Does anyone really care?

TackyFab: Sadly, I do.

Liz: Well, that poor SOB has to be half insane by now, being married to that woman. I got so sick of hearing her slamming lids and saying, "Appliance Direct!"

TackyFab: I don’t want to spoil it for you Liz, but I don’t think they’re married. They're not even a couple.

Liz: Then why would he put up with all that ranting and raving?

TackyFab: Well, I don’t know, but you fell for the oldest trick in Central Florida. Just to give you the total story: Tom and Angie from Toyota of Orlando aren’t a couple either, and Mr. Unbelievable the dog is actually a “Mrs.” But there is good news: that little ballerina from the commercials really is Bob Dance’s beautiful granddaughter! Getting back to the Toyota thing, though, who do you think is the sexier local Toyota spokesperson: David Maus from David Maus Toyota or Tom from Toyota of Orlando?

Liz: Dave Maus is a handsome guy. Do you think we can get him to go topless in his next commercial?

TackyFab: I’ll see if I can have his people get in touch with your people. Thanks so much Liz, and let me just leave you now with these wise words from the Simpsons: "If the beach isn't copless, please don't go topless."

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