Admittedly, I'm easily distracted. As a kid, I used to sit in church and count hats. Then I'd try to see if I could stack all the fingers on my one hand, perfectly straight on top of each other. Sometimes, I'd picture the congregation naked and subsequently feel awful and hope God would understand I wasn't bad, just curious. Then, I'd be so caught up in my guilt that it would lead me to start thinking about all the things I wasn't supposed to think about in church. It wasn't a very positive experience.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Now, as an adult, I spend my time at weddings, events, and school plays looking for Dads dozing off and Moms secretly trying to text message. I still think about naked people.
I giggle incessantly when cell phones ring during important meetings, and I like to play a little game with myself to see if I can be the last person clapping at public events.
So, anyway, about the Magic: I'm happy they're in the playoffs, but I really go to games to see the legendary "Fat Guy." (His self-proclaimed moniker). I'm mesmerized by him.
Yes, I'm a fair-weather fan. I believe the last time I went to a game, the Fat Guy was still fat, and I don't think he was wearing a cape. I feel like I would have remembered the cape.
On the Orlando Importance Scale (OIS), I rank the Fat Guy ahead of attorney Dan Newlin and meteorologist Tom Terry. (Still acknowledging, however, the importance of Newlin and Terry.)
I think the Fat Guy has all the makings of one of those Budweiser "Real American Heroes". I mean seriously, he's got a cape! What more is required?
So, here's to you Mr. Cape-wearing, frantically-runnin,' hairy-belly-flashing, pound-shedding-basketball-uberfan-attorney Dennis Salvagio.
Oh, and GO MAGIC!
photo courtesy of Gary Green/Orlando Sentinel