It's frustrating being me. I was born with a gene that makes me ponder thoughts nobody else cares about. Trust me, it's led to a lifetime of comments like, "Don't you have more important things to think about?" or "WOW! Somebody's got a lot of free time."
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The truth is, I don't have any free time, but I can't help the fact that my mind fixates on things like, "Why would Cracker Barrel put up a billboard showing a plate of carrots? Nobody pulls off the highway for carrots."
What's worse is when I verbalize these thoughts to other people, such as, "Isn't is crazy the way all the birds line up on attorney Dan Newlin's head on the billboard by the 33rd street jail?" To which the response is always, "Didn't notice".
So, I've tried lately to care less. Just yesterday, I didn't care about a misspelling on a Chinese food menu or the fact that Tiki Barber definitely used the mother of all dirty words during Olympic coverage.
That's why, when I received my first "Where's Angie Stevens from Toyota of Orlando" email, I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Who cares? She's probably on vacation. Even car dealership spokespeople are entitled to take vacations. She and Tom Park and Mr. Unbelievable have probably loaded up Four Runner and they're halfway to the Grand Canyon by now."
But I couldn't ignore it for long. More emails - at which point I assumed it was Angie's family or publicist, trying to drum up a little chatter. With WESH conducting their "Best of Central Florida" contest, I'm constantly getting emails that say "Vote for me for...", so I figured there must be a category for "favorite car spokesperson" and the Angie emails were somehow connected. Certainly, an attempt to take down David Maus would have to include a serious PR effort. (As a side note, if there is such a category, my vote will go to the guy in Longwood with the wife in the peekaboo top, and all the kids, and the Ferris wheel. The best car dealerships ALWAYS have Ferris wheels. Plus, if you've got $149 and a job, he'll put you in a new car. How nice is that?)
All the while, the emails continued to roll in about Angie...maybe three a day, maybe 200...I can't be sure. I don't track those kinds of things. I do have a life you know.
I decided, at that point, to reach out to my BFF Mitch English. I let him know about all the emails, and assured him I didn't care about the subject, but other people in Orlando did. Certainly people with too much free time. Mitch then confided in me that he and his wife Raquel had gone so far as to Google search Angie to find out what had happened. Mitch said Raquel was "really bummed out. She liked Angie a lot." I chalked that up as crazy talk. Can you really get attached to someone who is in your life for :60 second spurts, trying to sell you a Camry? I mean it's not like Sam and Lee from Appliance Direct, who buy 30 minute ads, back-to-back. That does lend itself to bonding.
If you've tried to Google Angie, then you, too, know that she has left behind no clues. Tom Park's website simply shows an empty box where Angie USED TO BE. Now it's just Elissa Walker Campbell and Belinda Pettite.
If Myspace is any indication, Angie has reinvented herself - moving to Colorado where she headlines a traveling musical road show that couples "Patty Griffin with Janis Joplin." To answer your next question, "Yes, Angie does sing the national anthem." I'd TOTALLY go see her if she played locally, like at the House of Blues or something.
If you were to rely on Angie Stevens LinkedIn profile, we'd have to believe she's working in the customer service department of a Nashville hospital.
If you were to believe medical reports, Angie Stevens is now a gynecologist living in Indiana.
Or quietly teaching yoga in England.
So, the answer is, I have no answer. It's as mysterious as Mr. Toyota - or should I say, "Lily, the dead cat sniffer"? There's definitely more to this story. Stay tuned.